Patient Stories

Rosemary shares her experience of bereavement counselling following the deaths of her daughter and husband, and the difference it has made. Rosemary was a regular runner with her daughter, when Deb suddenly developed earache. When a course of antibiotics failed to work, Deb visited A&E where she was eventually diagnosed with cancer of the oesophagus. [button url="/about-us" template="block" class="btn-block--red"]Find out more about our counselling support for bereaved adults[/button] After she died, I was really angry “From her initial diagnosis, we had six weeks with Deb. It was such a shock as she was so fit and healthy. Every little goal she set herself was taken away. After she died, I was really angry, because she had had so much planned. Deb and I had a good relationship. She wanted to learn to run so she asked me if I’d go running with her. She completed a marathon and she even ran with the Olympic torch. Suddenly you’re only half a person Ken died in January last year. He had a heart problem and went downhill after Deb died. He never really got over it and ended up not wanting to live which was hard to take. We’d been together for sixty years and suddenly you’re only half a person, you’re no longer whole anymore. [caption id="attachment_4088" align="alignnone" width="402"] Rosemary and Deb[/caption] It was difficult to come to terms with it all because Deb would have given anything to stay with us, whereas the old man had had enough. Bereavement counselling support I’d never had counselling before, so I was a bit wary. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I thought I’d be asked a lot of questions and find it difficult to answer. But my counsellor, Ian was a very caring and kind person and drew things out of me. I made an effort to come to the counselling session every week, however bad I was feeling. [button url="/about-us" template="block" class="btn-block--red"]Support for adults struggling after the death of a loved one[/button] I didn’t want to talk to family or friends about how I was feeling. You don't want to upset them and there’s things you can’t really say because you know they’re going through the same thing. They have also lost a wife, a mum, a sister, a dad… You tend to just muddle on. My counsellor helped me realise I hadn’t really had time to grieve myself, that it was put on hold. Counselling put me on a more even keel. It really helped.” Without counselling, I would have just muddled through It’s still hard and it’s never going to go away. I’ve lost a daughter and my old man. You go from day to day because that’s what they’d want you to do. Deb wouldn’t want me to sit and mope all the time. But now when I get distracted or angry, I can relate to the things I talked about with Ian. Without counselling, I think I would have just muddled through and carried on as best as I could.” [caption id="attachment_4089" align="alignnone" width="392"] Rosemary and Deb[/caption]

Aimee shares her experience of Hospice at Home end-of-life nursing care for her mum and the difference it made.

Donna and her daughter Anja share their experience of Hospice at Home nursing care for Donna's late husband.

Gareth shares his experience of bereavement counselling following the death of his wife and the difference it has made.

Donna Barnes shares her personal experiences of coming to our Tears to Laughter peer support group for people who've been bereaved. "I have found so much support from the Tears to Laughter group since my loss. The pain is the same whether you've spent 60 years with your special person or just 10 years. [button url="/about-us" template="block" class="btn-block--red"]Bereavement support after the death of a loved one[/button] A safe space to share how you feel after a bereavement The group is a safe space to share how you truly feel after a bereavement without fear of upsetting family members or friends. There are times when seeing other people out and about enjoying the company of their 'special person' makes you feel lonely, jealous and very sad. But you can share these feelings with the other group members. No one judges you No one judges you for getting upset and crying. Everyone has been in the same position and supports you. Even when there is no group, members are still available to offer you support via WhatsApp and often someone will offer to meet up with you for a chat. [button url="/about-us" template="block" class="btn-block--red"]How we can help you after the death of a loved one[/button] As the group name suggests there is also 'laughter' in the group, it is not all sadness and tears. Sharing funny incidents and happy times with our loved ones are also important." Peer Support and Understanding Tears to Laughter is where you can meet other people who understand what you are experiencing. A member of our team is on hand for support as needed. [button url="/about-us" template="block" class="btn-block--red"]Enquire about joining our peer support group[/button]