“The Treetops nurses became part of our family”
Mark remembers when they first learned we could help. He said: “When we found out Treetops could come and care for dad, we thought it might be a case of nurses coming and just sitting with him for an hour here and there, but we quickly realised that it was far, far more than that.
“I can’t describe the enormity of what Treetops does for the bigger picture – having them around gave our family the reassurance and breathing space we needed to focus on one another and on our own day-to-day responsibilities.”
Terry was, in Mark’s words, a “true family man” and “the most amazing dad you could ever ask for”. Growing up, Mark’s friends would often tell him that if they could choose any dad, they would choose Terry. After being best man at his friend Clive’s wedding, Terry was described as “the man who typifies the term ‘best man’”.
Terry spent over 20 years serving as a fireman at Ilkeston Fire Station. Mark later followed in his footsteps, becoming a fireman himself and eventually serving at the very same station before retiring, bringing their shared journey full circle.
As Terry’s illness progressed, our nurses grew to become an extension of the Burnham family. Their familiar presence brought comfort to Terry, who often felt distressed and confused, and reassurance to those who loved him.
Mark said: “The biggest compliment I can pay to Treetops is how naturally their visits became part of our lives. It wasn’t the nurse from Treetops anymore – it was Rachel, it was Jackie, it was Yvonne. We knew them all, and they became a part of our family rather than the external strangers we had imagined.”
To meet Terry’s needs, our roaming nurses came over when his nighttime distress had become difficult for Mark, his mum, and his sister to manage alone.
“What people don’t realise until they’ve lived through something like this is just how much care like Treetops’ can lift the whole family.
“For us, it meant proper sleep at home, knowing mum was resting too and that dad was safe. It meant our families got a better version of us, because we weren’t running on empty or completely burnt out.”
This support also allowed Terry’s wife of 60 years, Lyn, to step back from the role of full-time carer and simply be his wife again, giving them the chance to share meaningful time together.
Mark explained: “When dad became poorly, mum fell into the habit of not going out at all. But when Treetops started coming, it gave her the chance to step out for a couple of hours.
“It might not sound like much, but that time is invaluable if it gives someone a sense of normality and the freedom to do the things they need to, like getting the shopping in.
“It also meant we could take her out for a couple of hours too, just for a change of scenery.”
As Terry approached the end of his life, our nurses guided the family through each step, helping them understand what was normal and what to expect. Their presence meant Terry could remain at home, surrounded by the people he loved most.
On the day he died, 18 September 2025, Terry was held by his family, with our Hospice at Home nurse, Rachel, holding both Terry’s and his wife Lyn’s hands.
Mark said: “Dad was able to pass away with his close family around him, he saw his grandchildren the day he died, and we were all there with him. As a family man, I know it is exactly what he would have wanted.”
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